Thursday, February 16, 2012

Important Announcement!

Hello. After years away, I suddenly remembered the password to my blogger account while drinking in my office at 6:30 at night. That seems like a run-on sentence, but I can't be sure right now. This is too important, and I can't linger on each and every sentence.

I have an announcement. Very important. If you are coming to this blog (most likely because you have googled midget porn) and you want to express your love for me, please e-mail me directly. I cannot be expected to scour through thousands of comments looking for the random hot girl that likes to bang washed up, has been, arrogant, semi-humorous former bloggers. Don't get me wrong, I do that regularly, but there are some comments that I miss. I am certainly happy to bang anyone that wants banging, but you have to meet me half way here. Please, meet me half way.

In other news, how sad is it that my ego is still fueled by reading five-year old comments telling me that I am awesome? I know I'm awesome, but it is nice to hear it from anonymous people who stopped searching for midget porn long enough to leave a comment.

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This is the happiest day of my life. Happier than my wedding day, happier than the day my children were born, happier than a week at Disney!

*I don't have children and haven't been married, but I ASSUME that this one blog post will be way better than those things.

**Maybe not Disneyland. Disneyworld, yes. Disneyland? Hmmm.... not sure.

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You are right Lainey, it is better than anything you will ever experience again. Everyone's life is mostly downhill from this point forward - except for when I post again and then it will be uphill for a short while and then back down again.

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