Friday, September 08, 2006

Sins of the Flesh, etc.

So I stumbled across this site today:

It is seriously, but unintentionally, cool. By cool, I mean cool in the - you should stroll on over and take little look-see - sense, and not the cool like the time my two female former roommates made out for one full minute to avoid having to go on the next beer run. Of course, both things are cool, but only one of them haunts you nightly in your dreams as you wonder why you ever moved out of that house, and if you ever missed a crazy impromptu lesbian kissing session after going to bed for the night.

Anyway, the premise of this website is to confess “sins”. It has been set up by a church group or something, and people write in with their anonymous confessions. When I went to the site, I went straight to the “addicted to pornography” section. What I found stopped me in my tracks and may have changed my life slightly for the better for the rest of my days. This revelation is so great that I cannot stop giggling like a school girl before the season premier of Gilmore Girls. Women look at porn. Wow. Just wow. Some claim to be “addicted” to porn. There was one post where a woman said that she sneaks on to the computer after her husband has gone to bed to look at porn and masturbate. Oh my God.

As I was strolling through these confessions, a thought came to me. I know how to make this church (and the Lord in turn) some money. They should market this as a confession site/dating service. I would pay at least $298.54 (because that is everything in my checking account at the moment - I looked it up) to get the e-mail address of the woman that can’t stop herself from looking at porn day and night. Yes, yes I know I am going to hell. There is no need to remind me.

I know you are saying, “this Garrett guy is one low-life MF.” Well, it is no worse than the time I joined the local sexaholics anonymous group. Not because I had a problem, but because the women there make me so happy that I want to skip joyously along singing that Yankee Doodle Dandy song. I only fell off the wagon eight times before they kicked me out of the group. Hypocrites.

Okay people, peace out.

P.S. I swear this is my last post about porn for a few days. I am starting to look like a psycho.


Anonymous said...

you are such a boy.


Garrett Reid said...

The last time I checked.

Anne said...

Im so offended that you read my confession. I thought it was my secret..just between me and the Lord. Bummer.

Garrett Reid said...

Its out in the open now. I say run with it. Use your porn addiction to your advantage. Don't hide. Rather, embrace porn in all of its glory.