Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Double Penetration and the Super Mario Brothers

Okay people (and by people I mean the three people who seem to have stumbled upon this thing), I was just sitting here in my office looking out upon the sea of cubicles when a thought crossed my mind: How do those people look at porn when they work in a freaking cubicle? I mean, its not like you can be sitting there scrolling through double penetration sites when Judy from Accounting walks in to talk to about the new Purchasing Invoice forms.

As this thought was passing from my head, a guy walked by my office door. He was wearing these overalls that were some sort of green color, and he was rocking a big, thick mustache. That is when another thought entered my mind, and this one I would like to talk to you about: What is the deal with those Super Mario Brothers? They weren’t really “super” in the classic sense were they? It has been a long, long time since I have picked up my old Nintendo controller to give the Red ‘A’ and ‘B’ buttons a little rap-a-tap-tap, but I don’t remember them being able to do anything really “super”. I’m talking about the original SMB - not those other weird versions. I know they could do all kinds of strange things in the other versions. Sure they could break big blocks that were floating in the sky, and they could shoot fire if they ate that flower (or rubbed it all over their naked Mario Brother bodies - I don’t know what they did with it). The point is, that was really the flower with the power, not the Brother. As far as breaking blocks, that’s not much of a super power. They basically went through all of these various worlds, with some dumb song playing the entire time such that it was probably stuck in their heads for the rest of their lives, and killed the bad guys by jumping on their heads. I’m not certain about this, but I am pretty sure that you could name any other video game character in the history of video games, and they could kick one those Brother asses.

Okay, I have that off of my chest. Now its time to finish the MacGregor file (Of course I mean - after I review the Double Penetration file).

2 comments:

view from the other side said...

Ummm... Could you get back to dissing the French? Now that's a whole lot cooler than beating up on some poor plumber named Mario who has serious existential issues...

Garrett Reid said...

So sorry. The last post does not reflect my best work and I will endeavor to blog to my full potential in the future.

Those French people suck by the way.