Midget Porn
I spent a good portion of last night looking at midget porn. (I’m not exactly clear on the correct terminology. It might be “little person porn”, or “dwarf porn.” While this distinction might matter to some, I don’t think it matters to the three foot tall girl doing a gang bang in an abandoned warehouse). Some of you (but not all) may be inquiring of yourself at this very moment, "Why is Garrett, whom we have come to know, love and trust to be a decent, respectable, God-fearing member of the human race looking at something so degrading as web sites with titles such as "Bang A Midget" and "Midget Sex Mania"? Well, it is all in the name of science my dear friends.
You see, I watch a little show that I love with all of my heart entitled Nip/Tuck. If you don’t watch it, turn to FX right now and catch a glimpse because it is awesome. For my female readers, there is at least one bare male ass in every episode. Basically the show features two wealthy doctors who have a lot of sex and engage in a tremendous amount of immoral behavior. I know - right up my alley. Anyway, this season Dr. McNamara’s wife, Julia, begins having an affair with the male dwarf-nanny, Marlowe (I know, I know - there really couldn’t be a better name for a dwarf-nanny!) So this lead to a discussion with a co-worker. I now pose this question to you in the hopes of finally reaching a rational conclusion: Can a relationship between a regular-sized woman and a midget/dwarf man ever be fully satisfying to the woman because of the midget/dwarf sized penis?
I posed that question to my co-worker. The ensuing, sometimes confrontational, conversation went like this (for ease of reading I will use letters to symbolize who is speaking. "M" will represent me (because I am too fucking lazy to type the "e") and "F" will represent my friend - I would use his real name, but he is a lawyer and God knows he will probably sue me:
M: Can a relationship between a regular-sized woman and a midget/dwarf man ever be fully satisfying to the woman because of the midget/dwarf sized penis? (I know we already covered this- fuck off and keep quiet during the conversation)
F: Are you serious?
M: Uh, yeah. Midget man equals midget penis.
F: You are an idiot.
M: What are you talking about?
F: Midgets have normal sized penises.
M: Shut the fuck up. That is impossible, they would hang to their little midget knees.
F: Trust me, dude, midgets do not have "midget sized penises" (said with derision in his voice)
M: It just stands to reason, is all I am saying. If a 6 foot tall man has 6 inch penis, then 3 foot tall man must have 3 inch penis. That’s just basic logic and math skills. Third Grade man. Editor’s note: The numbers used herein are for example only. I have a penis much, much bigger than 6 inches. Just ask your mom. Zing!
F: Why do I even talk to you? (Looks at me in disgust and turns and walks away)
As soon as I got home from work I started looking me up some midget porn. This has led me to the following conclusions:
Conclusions:
1) Man midgets are vastly underused in porn. I looked at many websites and I saw the same man midget on every site. There is only one man-midget in porn. This means that if you are a midget and into doing many, many girls on camera, then there is a potential market for you.
2) 99.5 percent of all midget porn sites are pictures/videos of girl-midgets getting fucked by some big-penised guy. I have a theory that these sites are popular because regular joes would like to have the intercourse with a midget to make them feel like they have huge, giant-sized penises.
3) Although most midget porn sites are straight sex (regular guy/girl midget), there exists every other possible variety: a) full-sized girl/girl midget, b) girl midget peeing on guy, c) dominatrix midget, d) midget girl on midget girl, e) mature midgets.
4) I was not able to ascertain the penis size of the average dwarf/midget. The one midget I saw had a regular sized penis. However, in regular guy porn they use the guy with the biggest penis, usually at least 8-10 inches. Therefore, it stands to reason that they would use the midget with the biggest penis, so maybe the rest have small penises. I decided it was not a very scientific endeavor to seek to determine the penis size of the adult male midget by looking at porn.
5) There is not an article on Wikipedia addressing midget penises. Could someone look into that.
6) I felt like an idiot going to medical websites and typing into the search engine: “Dwarf penis size”
Okay that’s it. I don’t know the answer. I really wanted to come into work this morning with some medical literature and hard core midget-porn printouts to support my arguments. Does anyone out there know the answer? Can anyone help?
Write me if you are:
1) actually a midget/dwarf and are still reading this post after being so obviously offended by my insensitivities.
2) a girl and have had sex with a midget.
3) a guy and have had sex with a midget (yes I did look for gay midget sites - none).
4) know a man midget and are willing to ask him the length and girth of his midget member.
5) just like to talk about sex in general and don’t mind if you immediately become the subject of my masturbation fantasies.
Lets get those e-mails going. I need an answer by lunch. Keep the faith and walk the walk.
You see, I watch a little show that I love with all of my heart entitled Nip/Tuck. If you don’t watch it, turn to FX right now and catch a glimpse because it is awesome. For my female readers, there is at least one bare male ass in every episode. Basically the show features two wealthy doctors who have a lot of sex and engage in a tremendous amount of immoral behavior. I know - right up my alley. Anyway, this season Dr. McNamara’s wife, Julia, begins having an affair with the male dwarf-nanny, Marlowe (I know, I know - there really couldn’t be a better name for a dwarf-nanny!) So this lead to a discussion with a co-worker. I now pose this question to you in the hopes of finally reaching a rational conclusion: Can a relationship between a regular-sized woman and a midget/dwarf man ever be fully satisfying to the woman because of the midget/dwarf sized penis?
I posed that question to my co-worker. The ensuing, sometimes confrontational, conversation went like this (for ease of reading I will use letters to symbolize who is speaking. "M" will represent me (because I am too fucking lazy to type the "e") and "F" will represent my friend - I would use his real name, but he is a lawyer and God knows he will probably sue me:
M: Can a relationship between a regular-sized woman and a midget/dwarf man ever be fully satisfying to the woman because of the midget/dwarf sized penis? (I know we already covered this- fuck off and keep quiet during the conversation)
F: Are you serious?
M: Uh, yeah. Midget man equals midget penis.
F: You are an idiot.
M: What are you talking about?
F: Midgets have normal sized penises.
M: Shut the fuck up. That is impossible, they would hang to their little midget knees.
F: Trust me, dude, midgets do not have "midget sized penises" (said with derision in his voice)
M: It just stands to reason, is all I am saying. If a 6 foot tall man has 6 inch penis, then 3 foot tall man must have 3 inch penis. That’s just basic logic and math skills. Third Grade man. Editor’s note: The numbers used herein are for example only. I have a penis much, much bigger than 6 inches. Just ask your mom. Zing!
F: Why do I even talk to you? (Looks at me in disgust and turns and walks away)
As soon as I got home from work I started looking me up some midget porn. This has led me to the following conclusions:
Conclusions:
1) Man midgets are vastly underused in porn. I looked at many websites and I saw the same man midget on every site. There is only one man-midget in porn. This means that if you are a midget and into doing many, many girls on camera, then there is a potential market for you.
2) 99.5 percent of all midget porn sites are pictures/videos of girl-midgets getting fucked by some big-penised guy. I have a theory that these sites are popular because regular joes would like to have the intercourse with a midget to make them feel like they have huge, giant-sized penises.
3) Although most midget porn sites are straight sex (regular guy/girl midget), there exists every other possible variety: a) full-sized girl/girl midget, b) girl midget peeing on guy, c) dominatrix midget, d) midget girl on midget girl, e) mature midgets.
4) I was not able to ascertain the penis size of the average dwarf/midget. The one midget I saw had a regular sized penis. However, in regular guy porn they use the guy with the biggest penis, usually at least 8-10 inches. Therefore, it stands to reason that they would use the midget with the biggest penis, so maybe the rest have small penises. I decided it was not a very scientific endeavor to seek to determine the penis size of the adult male midget by looking at porn.
5) There is not an article on Wikipedia addressing midget penises. Could someone look into that.
6) I felt like an idiot going to medical websites and typing into the search engine: “Dwarf penis size”
Okay that’s it. I don’t know the answer. I really wanted to come into work this morning with some medical literature and hard core midget-porn printouts to support my arguments. Does anyone out there know the answer? Can anyone help?
Write me if you are:
1) actually a midget/dwarf and are still reading this post after being so obviously offended by my insensitivities.
2) a girl and have had sex with a midget.
3) a guy and have had sex with a midget (yes I did look for gay midget sites - none).
4) know a man midget and are willing to ask him the length and girth of his midget member.
5) just like to talk about sex in general and don’t mind if you immediately become the subject of my masturbation fantasies.
Lets get those e-mails going. I need an answer by lunch. Keep the faith and walk the walk.
posted by Garrett Reid @ 9:38 AM
25 Comments:
oh man. my friend and i were talking about the exact same thing last night. in fact, we concluded that we were strangely attracted to the actor that plays the nanny. expect a post on my blog about him soon enough.
ive never had sex with a midget, but i do watch nip/tuck.
i hate the julia character, but im oddly turned on by marlowe. i dont even care if hes a midget. i think he can get his fair share.
you know mini-me? he was photographed with many women. wait, is he a midget or a dwarf? he looks like a dwarf. hes very unattractive, and i would not want that clone in me.
i read you regularly. youre hilarious.
I am a huge fan of nip/tuck and after a recent episode was wondering the same as you...DO midgets have a regular size penis? They would have to to full-fill a regular woman's needs. But how strange would that look?! It also stands to reason that midget women would have smaller vagina's. I hope your quest for the truth goes well...I would love to read the results in a future post. I wait in anticipation for every post you make...you are fucking hilarious!!!
Meg: I just don't know what to say. I have been trying to come up with an appropriate response to this comment all day. Strangely attracted to Peter Dinklage? Wow. Do you think it is realistic for Julia, who has been with sean and Christian to want to be with Marlowe the man-midget nanny? So what about the penis size? Any help?
mystry: Why do you hate Julia, is it because she is so whiny all the time? Again, oddly turned on by Marlow. I am just astounded. What is it about him? What do you think about his penis size? mini-me is not cool at all, but I bet he gets the women. Thanks for saying I am hilarious. I know you are lying, but I'll take it anyway.
Lily: Thanks for the observation. I bet midget women would have small vaginas. This would make them a very hot item for the regular sized man, since small vagina would equal tight. .. well you get the point. I was hoping to get some more comments on the subject. I do appreciate those I have received, but no answers yet. I'll keep you updated. Thanks for anticipation. If there is one thing I am known for it is keeping women in anticipation. Usually it goes like this, "I promise baby, next time it won't be so quick!"
The fact that this is such a detailed study full of discussion, observation and research is both awesome...and a little creepy. But mostly awesome!
My next question is how is your friend such an authority on midget penis size?
Smooches!
garrett, i dont lie.
and as for julia, she doesnt strike me as desirable because she has nothing to offer. her story lines are so fucking boring because SHE is boring.
as for the midget penis...im not sure what i think about the size, but let me just say, id love me some of that.
Peter Dinklage. You people are talking about Peter Dinklage who is one of the most attractive men ever. Midget or no. My friends and I are smitten with him. I saw him on the street the other day- holding hands with his girlfriend- and my uterus skipped a beat. Plus he's a brilliant actor! Have you seen the station agent? My. Word.
Peter Dinklage, if you should read this blog, call me! We're meant to be! Sigh...
Kris - I would agree the post is 95 percent creepy, 3 percent sick and twisted, 1 percent terrible offensive and only 1 percent awesome. That is a good question that I posed to him as soon as I read your comment. I told him I was right about the midget penis size, he said I was wrong, and I told him that the only way he could know that is if he was searching the internet for midget penis, and that made him gay in my book. End of discussion. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. You rock, rock.
Mystry - I've never liked the Julia myself, but I think its her voice that kills me. I can't ever tell if she is talking or crying. I hope one day you succeed in your quest to get some of that midget penis.
L & F - I can't believe it! Once again, another lady on here wanting the Dinklage dick. No doubt he is a great actor. Station agent - very good. His role in Elf. Hilarious. But lady's man? I just had no idea. There is nearly 100% consensus of my female blog readers who comment that want to sample the midget meat. Well, I hope it works out for you. I must know - what did his girlfriend look like?
well im a little person 4 feet 2" tall and my penis is 8" does that answer your question? the penis size is the same as everyone else small and big.
tres funny post u weirdo boy (came across you from Random) and the anon comment above me turns me on!
i have seen some little people porn, but noticed a real lack of little guy/full sized girl. surely that has gotta be a fantasy for most women (I'm not unusual am I?), nothing to do with willy size.
Anonymous - Thank you for clearing that up for us. However, I think we need a little proof. Please see the comments above. If you would, go ahead an e-mail a picture of your 8 inches to each of those folks. That would be great.
Joie: Thanks for stopping by and commenting. You seem to fit right in with all of the other female commenters that love the midget penis and want to have some of it as soon as possible. There have been so many comments in that regard it makes me wish I was 4'2 so women would lust after me.
I'm 3 feet 6 in. tall and my penis size is 5 1/2 in. long and 4 1/2 in girth.
hi, very funny insight into the reasonings of penis size, btw, nip/tuck is boring but hearing that
Peter is in it, think i need to watch more now, have you seen him in the movie, Death at a Funeral, absolutely mad movie, and he plays a gay dwarf in that, bloody funny movie.
Anyway, discussing your prob with my partner, he disagrees with the theory that the 2 sizes go hand in hand, because then him being 6ft tall he should have a 6 inch cock, his is actually 8, so 5 ft guys with 9 inch cocks should be a feat in its self. They are unusual but not uncommon, so does that make a 6 ft guy with an 8 inch cock more rare than a gay dwarf porn star?
I have to agree, if your going to make claims about your manhood, they should be accompanied by photograpic proof. Talk is cheap.
amazing.
Midget is a term used to describe an exceptionally small person (like Paolo).
The terms "midget" and "dwarf" are often used synonymously, as both terms
mean someone who has been short in stature since birth, but those terms
were not originally synonyms.
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There was a Hustler magazine spread back in the mid-late 80s of a girl & a dwarf. He was 3' to 3'6" tall, hairy as hell & had an erect penis which looked about 5" long and of average girth.
Here's another question for your readers that is an extention to your curiousity with midget penis size.
~Have you ever - had sex with a midget/dwaft or fanatised about having sex with a midget/dwarf?
"Hi I'm a little people and I'm 4 feet tall and my penis is 12 inches long with 7 inch girth" !! (thats a joke, i'm not a little people) LOL PICS PEOPLE, AND NONE OF THAT PHOTOSHOP RUBBISH !
btw a little people with a thingy that big would be really creepy and one would think they are in a horror flick if chased around by a little people with his pants off.
LOL@ twink gay porn links someone posted :P
-this comment was left to humor zz-
I'm 5'11"
My boyfriend is 4'11"
His is almost an inch longer than mine :P
I was watching american pie naked mile on comedy central and the same question popped in my mind anyway i found a pic of a little persons persons penis its a nasty pic so forgive me for posting. asuming like in reg porn they choose the biggest the answer should be clear.
http://www.themidgetsex.com/wp-content/4041-4.jpg
dude, you are an idiot, small stature doesn't mean small penis, vagina, organs or anything of the sort. Penis and vagina size of humans are determined by many variables which is why they are all different shapes and sizes. Just because you are tall doesn't mean you are going to have a big or long penis. Same for goes for the vagina. How about asking an actual physician about it. Also, porn does not choose the guys with the biggest penises, they choose the guys who can get themselves to stay erect in front of the camera, cast and crew regardless of size. A lot of the guys in porn are bigger than average because most smaller guys don't have the confidence that a guy with a big penis does. Your co-worker was right...you are an idiot. So would you conclude that little people has half the brain size too? How dense can a supposedly intelligent or "scientific" (in your words) person be? HMMMM???
before my husband and I got together, we had one of these "past" talks since I was his first. (you know the high-school sweethearts thing) He told me that he slept with a midget. Now, most girls would just get pissed and jealous. Not this one, i laughed and asked him what it was like. He basically told me that she was like a portable vagina...he could lift her and make her do pretty much anything he wanted. I proceeded to laugh. I as taking the trophy, as I am still the best...and full grown.
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