Friday, October 13, 2006

Blog Whoring

You may have noticed that I updated the Links on the sidebar here. These are several of the blogs and such that I check daily. There are others, but I am embarrassed to tell you about them. Some that I didn’t link to are Girl Blogs. They write about their boyfriends, wine, menstruation, and Grey’s Anatomy. For some reason I keep going back to them. I keep telling myself it is because I want to understand the opposite sex so I can get women. However, (and I have never shared this with anyone) I am worried these blogs are turning me gay. If you leave a comment on a blog about how you wish George would find his soul mate or about how Meredith should totally pick McDreamy, does that automatically make you gay, or is it just a factor in turning you gay. I haven’t decided yet, but I am trying to wean myself from those blogs before I suddenly find myself in Williams-Sonoma buying monogrammed linens.

So, anyway, go to these blogs. While there, tell each person that Garrett Reid reads their blog. Tell them that he is your hero, and that they should link their blog to his. Tell them how he won you over, and made you fall in love with him. Tell them to write and entire post about how pathetically sad he is, yet devastatingly charming. Tell them the story about how there is a small African community that worships him as a deity. (Is that a racist thing to say - I hope not) Tell them about how mesmerizing it is to read a blog from a guy that has nothing to say, no good way in which to say it, and spends most of his posts insulting entire classes of people. Tell them that he is, in reality, a 12 year old boy with cancer who wishes only for a lot of traffic to his website before he dies.

There it is. I am a whore. I am throwing myself at other blogs with my shirt unbuttoned and my hairy chest exposed. I am flexing my ass as I bend over to pick up a paper clip that I “accidently” dropped.


Anne said...

Im not even going to comment on the pathetic hilarity of this post (even though I just did)

But Im awfully happy to see my blog over there. I was worried because I do talk about the Grey sometime.

I will hook you up on mine as I remember too.

A Lover and a Fighter said...

I linked to you. But I'm confused. So aren't you more like a blog pimp? Or are you the whore because you are "turning tricks" (linking) in an anticipated exchange for "payment" (linking back)? But, see, then the act and the currency are exactly the same thing. So you're really just trading monies or getting each other off...

Maybe blog circle jerk(er) is more accurate?

I've clearly crossed a line. Feel free to unlink me.

Garrett Reid said...

Anne: Thanks for the comment. Pathetic hilarity is how most people comment about me. Although most leave off the hilarity part. I love it when you talk about the Grey's A. Just don't be surprised if I don't comment back when you do. I want people to think I am cool.

Lover and Fighter: Thanks for linking me. That explains the sudden increase in traffic. My only traffic comes from the Next Blog button (and that is one guy from Bulgaria every other week). Clearly, you put some thought into this "blog whoring" thing, and let me just say that you are too smart to be reading this shit. I like "blog circle jerker." I think I'll go with that one. Does that mean you are now part of the circle. Wink Wink.

natalie said...

ha ha ha. this is my first time at your blog after reading your funny comment at waiterrant. i like the humor and the self-indulgent requests for linkage. if i didn't have a purely PG website (come on, my parents AND my students read...) i'd link you too. best of luck.

Garrett Reid said...

Natalie: Thanks for stopping by. I guess you are right, not too PG here. If you need a fix of some PG-13 humor(i.e. humor that only 13 year-olds and me find funny) come on back.

A Lover and a Fighter said...