Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Comment Responding

I have been so bad about responding to comments lately. For that, I apologize. To make up for it, I am making sure I respond to every past comment (Disclaimer: I am only starting with the post before last, and I am not necessarily promising that I will respond to comments in this post). The best way to do this is for me to just do a full post with your comments in it. This makes it easier for you to read because you don't have to go back and read the old posts and comments to see the hilarious things I wrote and will write. It also makes is harder for me because I have to cut and paste and format and shit.

If you are reading this site semi-regularly (meaning you stumble back in here every other month when you are drunk) and don't read the comments you are missing out because 1) there are people writing shit in the comments that is much funnier than anything I throw together, 2) the comments section is how you find the hot girl-bloggers, and 3) Occasionally I post a link in the comments section to a photo of my naked ass. Okay, I don't actually do that, but If you want to see my naked ass I will happily photograph it and send you a copy. (P.S. - Before responding, check yourself to make sure you are okay with light to moderate ass-hair).

From The Return Of Lisa:

CJ said...

dmbmeg- I've been locked out of my dorm room many times, but I was in the opposite situation... the sexin' wasn't happening inside the dorm room as much as it was on the outside of it.

Yeah, those were good drunkin' times.

Fun fact about the University of Oregon dorm rooms: the same guy who designed them, also designed the majority of prisons up and down the west coast...

GR Response: Why is it that DmbMeg gets more comments here than I do? Do you mean you got locked out of your dorm room and decided to go ahead and have the sex in the hall? If so, very cool. I have never done that, but I did once break up a fight between two drunk girls who had ripped each other's shirts and were semi-topless. I accidentally touched a breast during the melee. Damn, the good times I used to have. Crazy good times.

Snow White said...

Hmmm... I think some guys shave "down there" 'cause they think they're more likely to get,um, a little mouth action? Sorry, I guess I don't have your way with tact. *grin*

GR Response: Are you telling me that If I went bald "down there," there would be girls who might otherwise refuse oral action that would now gladly "go down town?" I have never had a girl refuse a blow job by saying, "I'm sorry I would like to, but you just have too much damn pubic hair." Normally, the response is, "I'm sorry, but if you want a blow job you need 10 more dollars."

Winter said...

I like the idea of it being pink and in the shape of a heart.

GR Response: If you ever find a guy that will shave it in the shape of heart, and color it pink, you have got a hold on to that guy because you will never ever meet another guy more pussy-whipped than that.

HAR said...

"I never fight with the ladies because 1) I am not a douche, and 2) The hot girls don't really "go out with me" per se." High five.

GR Response: Hive five right back at you. Was the high five for not being a douche or because I don't get any action?

TK said...

You're psychotic. Who on Earth asks that question? Awesome, man. I'd never do it, but I sure as hell am glad that I know someone who would.

GR Response: TK, I can honestly say without bullshit that I didn't think the question was THAT bad. I have since polled my friends in real life, and on this blog, and have learned that no one, anywhere, can believe I asked that. I mean, I knew it was somewhat inappropriate. I knew it was a little harsh, insensitive and possibly offensive, but I didn't think it was really, really offensive or anything. Turns out, I may be a heartless prick. Who knew? You saying, "you're psychotic" is one of the tamer responses I have received. Most people have called me a fucking asshole, homophobe, tactless fucking prick, or (my favorite) a miserable heartless son of a bitch. You live, you learn I guess.

onthevirg said...

That has to be a 985 out of 10 on inappropriate break room banter scale. I applaud your fine work sir. On the plus side, though she may never speak to you again, at least she didn't straight kick you in the nuts.

GR Response: You're right, of course. I guess I am lucky I didn't a kick to the ball baggage. However, she is speaking to me. She didn't seem that mad about it the next day. I don't think they are back together, but I'm afraid to ask. Shit - I wonder if she will tell him my question if they get back together?

Mortarbored said...

I just found this by reading the blogrolls of people on my blogroll while at work.

I can't believe you actually asked that. Was it one of those immediate regrets where you start wincing right as you start the last word of the question?

GR Response: I knew it sounded bad when I asked it - and that I should have set it up better maybe. But I didn't really expect her anger. I did wince a little as it was coming out. Maybe that is why she reacted the way she did. I've heard that women can sense weakness. They are exactly like wild animals.

kelsi said...

i was going to comment on the post, but then i realized that there's a club here that i'm not part of. :(

nonetheless - i'm totally into breaking into conversations and making everyone all awkward, so - she's clearly waaaaaay too uptight to be dealt with like a human being, if she couldn't shrug off the suggestion that she's been married to a gay guy for the last couple of years.

just sayin'.

GR Response: There's no club to be a part of. Most of these people just showed up here one day and started making fun of me. Like my birthday parties, only with more anonymity. Now if only I could get my uncle to comment by telling sexually explicit jokes to my friends it would be just like home.

Thanks for being on my side. I keep telling people who tell me what an ass I am that she needs to lighten up. My personal belief is that she reacted so strongly because she feels, deep down, that I may be right.

Okay - that is all I've got. The cutting and pasting is killing me. Maybe I'll get to the next post later. Word to your mothers and what not.


dmbmeg said...

If there was a prize for worst post ever written, this would certainly take home the prize.

Garrett Reid said...

This comment from someone with Tom Cruise next to her name?

A Lover and a Fighter said...

This comment is for kelsi-

KELSI! You used an emoticon! I am telling. :-<

Unless you were being deliciously ironic, in which case :-)

Yuck. I just grossed myself out with this.

Meggles, he's just jealous you don't have a picture of him next to your name.

Gar-your commitment to your commenters is inspirational.

dmbmeg said...

it's not Tom Cruise, It's TJ Mackey. Never confuse the two again.

dmbmeg said...

I should put your picture up there. I mean, who is better at quietly judging than you, sugar pie?

A Lover and a Fighter said...

NOBODY! I JUDGE MORE THAN ANYONE! I'm the best at it!!!

I'll start finding a photo for you.

Scottsdale Girl said...

I totally thought it was Tom Cruise. Hmm.

EternalVirgin said...

This makes me feel better about "lazy blogging" (posting a youtube video or pic and responding to it). At least I don't cut and paste.

(I'm just teasing, I'm not that big of a bitch...)

fear.of.landing said...

Okay so when I read the Lisa post, my immediate reaction was that she was awfully defensive. I didnt think it was jerky at all just really spontaneous and random which is absolutely great.

HAR said...

Sorry dumbmeg but I enjoyed the post. :)

I kid, I kid.

Garrett Reid said...

L&F - Your So Funny! LOL! (How did that make you feel?) Inspirational is my goal here.

DmbMeg - Wasn't TJ Mackey a cop played by Bill Shatner?

DmbMeg and L&F - If you two are going to talk - the least you could do is talk about me.

Scottsdale - It is the best picture of Tom Cruise giving his "bedroom eyes" she could find.

E-Virgin - It is not lazy if you as long as you write at least 20 words.

F of L - Thank you. She was probably defensive because she married a gay man. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Har - Thanks for sticking up for me. That dmbmeg can get mean sometimes. It is totally undeserved.

crackfire said...

d[u]mbmeg and L&F are totally pwning the comment section

A Lover and a Fighter said...

What is pwning?

Garrett Reid said...

A very good question my dear L & F. I had to look it up. It appears to mean:

1. pwned - A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned." It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.

I have no idea what to think of that definition. How am I falling so far behind in lingo? Also, it appears that Crackfire may be right in that he is saying you two (God[dess] like forces) are owning the comment section. So there you have it.

dmbmeg said...

d[u]mbmeg...DOH! Never heard that one before.

Try being original, asshat.

Thank you,

Garrett Reid said...

Okay folks. No need to fight. Crackfire, DmbMeg is not dumb. She has an entire post today about reading a book. An entire book! And a smart-sounding book at that. That is way more intellectual than anything I have ever done. Especially considering I stayed up until 3 in the morning last night playing Zelda on my wii.

And DmbMeg - I am sure that Crackfire, although I have never actually met him, does not really have an ass for a hat. Who would do that? How would you even wear an ass?

HAR said...

Hey DumbMeg,
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I will try harder to be more original for you if you will try harder to learn how to spell "delirious."

I kid, I kid...DUMBMEG

Sincerely ( or for you, DumbMegs:) Sincirileie,

blythe said...

don't you mean gentleman asshat? i just wanted to say gentleman asshat.

dmbmeg said...

oh no! I misspelled a word! Gasp! I'm the stupidest person in the world!

Winter said...

I'm married so maybe I did find that guy.

Ha, just kidding Hubby if you are reading my comments.

I know you're all man.

P.S. I hope you finished all my laundry.

kelm said...

Regarding asshats and the wearing of them: Davy Crockett's coonskin hat. Although I'm not sure what kind of gutting and de-anusing (deanussing?) is required for proper crockett asshat manufacture. But there is a tail and tail means ass.

Also, I can see only two reasonable responses on Lisa's part: kick you in the nads or laugh/cry hysterically because her entire world is falling apart. Instead she asks why you thought that because you never met him? Sounds to me like someone's been told about the repressed gay but doesn't want to believe.